Among the innumerable number of books to that purpose of late, (unlooked-for) the new surfeit of an old Lover (sent abroad [published] to warn those which are of his own kind from catching the like disease) came by chance to my hands, which, because as well women as men are desirous of novelties, I willingly read over. Neither did the ending thereof less please me than the beginning, for I was so carried away with the conceit [thesis] of the Gentleman as that I was quite out of the book before I thought I had been in the midst thereof: so pithy were his sentences, so pure his words, and so pleasing his style. The chief matters therein contained were of two sorts: the one in dispraise of man's folly, and the other, invective against our sex. . . .
The greatest fault that doth remain in us women is that we are too credulous, for could we flatter as they [men] can dissemble, and use our wits well as they can their tongues ill, then never would any of them complain of surfeiting. . . . The Gods, knowing that the minds of mankind would be aspiring and having thoroughly viewed the wonderful virtues wherewith women are enriched, lest they should provoke us to pride and so confound us with Lucifer, they bestowed the supremacy over us to man, that of that Cockscomb he might only boast. . . .
For we woo them with our virtues, and they wed us with vanities. And men, being of wit sufficient to consider of the virtues which are in us women, are ravished with delight of those dainties which allure and draw the senses of them to serve us, whereby they become ravenous hawks, who do not only seize upon us, but devour us. Our good toward them is the destruction of ourselves; we, being well formed, are by them foully deformed. . . . Their eyes are so curious, as be not all women equal with Venus for beauty, they cannot abide the sight of them; their stomachs so queasy, as do they taste but twice of one dish they straight surfeit, and needs must a new diet be provided for them. We are contrary to men because they are contrary to that which is good. . . . Our tongues are light [our speech is called insubstantial merely] because earnest in reproving men's filthy vices, and our good counsel is termed nipping injury in that it accords not with their foolish fancies . . . . If our frowns be so terrible and our anger so deadly, men are too foolish in offering occasions of hatred; which shunned, a terrible death is prevented. There is a continual deadly hatred between the wild boar and tame hounds; I would there were the like between women and men unless they amend their manners, for so strength should predominate where now flattery and dissimulation hath the upper hand. The Lion rageth when he is hungry, but man raileth when he is glutted. The Tiger is robbed of her young ones when she is ranging abroad, but men rob women of their honor undeservedly under their noses. The Viper stormeth when his tail is trodden on, and may not we fret when our body is a footstool to their vile lust? Their unreasonable minds, which know not what reason is, make them nothing better than brute beasts.
Now while this greedy gazer [the author of the book to which she replies] is about his entreaty of love, which nothing belongeth to our matter [the subject at hand], let us secretly (ourselves with ourselves) consider how and in what they that are our worst enemies are both inferior unto us and most beholden unto our kindness.
The creation of man and woman at the first, he being formed In principio [in the beginning] of dross and filthy clay, did so remain until God saw that in him his workmanship was good, and therefore by the transformation of the dust which was loathsome unto flesh it became purified. Then lacking a help for him, God, making woman of man's flesh that she might be purer than he, doth evidently show how far we women are more excellent than men. Our bodies are fruitful, whereby the world increaseth, and our care wonderful, by which man is preserved. From woman sprang man's salvation. A woman was the first that believed, and a woman likewise the first that repented of sin. In woman is only frue Fidelity; except in her there is [no] constancy, and without her no Housewifery. In the time of their sickness we cannot be wanted [we are necessary], and when they are in health we for them are most necessary. They are comforted by our means; they [are] nourished by the meats we dress; their bodies [are] freed from diseases by our cleanliness, which otherwise would surfeit unreasonably through their own noisomeness [stinking filthiness]. Without our care they lie in their beds as dogs in litter and go like lost Mackerel swimming in the heat of summer. They love to go handsomely in their apparel and rejoice in the pride thereof, yet who is the cause of it but our carefulness, to see that everything about them be curious [exquisite]? Our virginity makes us virtuous; our conditions, courteous; and our chastity maketh our trueness of love manifest. They confess we are necessary, but they would have us likewise evil. . . .
It is a wonder to see how men can flatter themselves with their own conceits. For let us look, they will straight affirm that we love, and if then Lust pricketh them, they will swear that Love stingeth us. Which imagination only is sufficient to make them assay the scaling of half a dozen of us in one night, when they will not stick to swear that if they shold be denied of their requests, death must needs follow. Is it any marvel, though, they surfeit, when they are so greedy? But is it not pity that any of them should perish, which will be so soon killed with unkindness? Yes, truly. Well, the onset given, if we retire for a vantage, they will straight affirm that they have got the victory. Nay, some of them are so carried away with conceit that, shameless, they will blaze abroad [make public] among their companions that they have obtained the love of a woman unto whom they never spoke above once, if that. . . .