The Arraignment of Lewd, idle, froward, and
unconstant women or the vanity of them,
choose you whether,
With a Commendation of wise, virtuous,
and honest Women,
Pleasant for married Men, profitable for
young Men, and hurtful to none.
Joseph Swetnam
1615

Musing with myself, being idle, and having little ease to pass the time withal, and I being in a great choler against some women (I mean more than one); and so in the rough of my fury, taking my pen in hand to beguile the time withal, indeed I might have employed myself to better use than in such an idle business, and better it were to pocket up a pelting injury than to entangle myself with such vermin. . . . I must confess I have been a Traveler this thirty and odd years, and many travelers live in disdain of women. The reason is for that their affections are so poisoned with the heinous evils of unconstant women which they happen to be acquainted with in their travels; for it doth so cloy their stomachs that they censure hardly of women ever afterwards. Wronged men will not be tongue-tied; therefore if you [women] do ill, you must not think to hear well. For although the world be bad, yet it is not come to pass that men should bear with all the bad conditions that is in some women.

I know I shall be bitten by many [women] because I touch many, but before I go any further, let me whisper one word in your ears, and that is this: whatsoever you think privately, I wish you to conceal it with silence, lest in starting up to find fault you prove yourselves guilty of these monstrous accusations which are here following against some women. And those which spurn if they feel themselves touched prove themselves stark fools in betraying their galled backs to the world, for this book toucheth no sort of women but such as when they hear it will go about to reprove it. . . .

Moses [traditionally thought to be the author of Genesis] describeth a woman thus: "At the first beginning," saith he, "a woman was made to be a helper unto man." And so they are indeed, for she helpeth to spend and consume that which man painfully getteth. He also saith that they were made of the rib of a man, and that their froward nature showeth; for a rib is a crooked thing good for nothing else, and women are crooked by nature, for small occasion will cause them to be angry.

Again, in a manner she was no sooner made but straightway her mind was set upon mischief, for by her aspiring mind and wanton will she quickly procured man's fall. And therefore ever since they are and have been a woe unto man and follow the line of their first leader. . . .

Solomon was the wisest Prince that ever was, yet he lusted after so many women that they made him quickly forsake his God which did always guide his steps, so long as he lived godly.

And was not David the best beloved of God and a mighty Prince? Yet for the love of women he purchased the displeasure of his God. Samson was the strongest man that ever was, for every lock of his head was the strength of another man; yet by a woman he was overcome. He revealed his strength and paid his life for that folly. Did not Jezebel for her wicked lust cause her husband's blood to be given to dogs?

Job's wife gave her husband counsel to blaspheme God and to curse him.

Agamemnon's wife, for a small injury that her husband did her, she first committed adultery and afterwards consented to his death. . . .

She [a woman] will have a fig leaf to cover her shame, but when the fig leaf is dry and withered, it doth show their nakedness to the world. For take away their painted clohtes, and then they look like ragged walls; take away their ruffs, and they look ruggedly; their coifs and stomacher, and they are simple to behold; their heir untrussed, and they look wildly. And yet there are many which lays thir nets to catch a pretty woman, but he which getteth such a prize gains nothing by his adventure but shame to the body and danger to the soul. For the heat of the young blood of these wantons leads many unto destruction for this world's pleasure. It chants your minds and enfeebleth your bodies with diseases; it also scandaleth your good names, but most of all it endangereth your soul. How can it otherwise choose, when lust and uncleanness continually keeps them company, gluttony and sloth serveth them at the table, pride and vainglory appareleth them. . . .

Therefore believe, all you unmarried wantons, and in believing, grieve that you have thus unluckily made yourselves neither maidens, widows, nor wives, but more vile than filthy channel dirt fit for to be swept out of the heart and suburbs of your Country. Oh, then suffer not this world's pleasure to take from you the good thoughts of an honest life! But down, down upon your knees, you earthy Serpents, and wash away your black sin with the crystal tears of true sorrow and repentance, so that when you wander from this enticing world, you may be washed and cleansed from this foul leprosy of nature.

Although some happen on a devilish and unhappy woman, yet all men do not so . . . . {A}mongst dust there is a Pearl found, and in hard rocks, Diamonds of great value. And so amongst many women there are some good, as that gracious and glorious Queen of all womenkind, the Virgin Mary, the mother of all bliss. What won her honor but an humble mind and her pains and love unto our Savior, Christ?

Sarah is commended for the earnest love that she bore to her husband, not only for calling him Lord, but for many other qualities; also Susanna, for her chastity and for creeping on her knees to please her husband. . . .

Likewise, Lucretia, for the love and loyalty that she bore to her husband. Being unkindly abused [raped] by an unchaste lecher against her will, she presently slew herself in the presence of many rather than she would offer her body again to her husband, being but one time defiled.